in all my life, I have never encountered such an astounding act of trolling as the time I spent an hour and a half downloading what I thought was a Good Omens fanmix and then discovering that it was a Best of Queen album.
Galaxy Quest (1999)
I had originally not wanted to see Galaxy Quest because I heard that it was making fun of Star Trek. Then Jonathan Frakes rang me up and said ‘You must not miss this movie! See it on a Saturday night in a full theater.’ And I did, and of course I found it was brilliant. Brilliant. No one laughed louder or longer in the cinema than I did. - Patrick Stewart
Kanto Illustrations #050 - 073 - Created by Piper Thibodeau
Piper’s fantastic series to illustrate the entire Pokedex marches on, and here is the latest installment! As usual, Piper’s take on each Pokemon is fun, creative, and delightfully well executed. Be sure to follow along on Tumblr or Twitter for all the latest updates.
WHOEVER BUYS THIS FOR ME WINS MY ETERNAL LOVE
I OWN THIS
EVERY MORNING HE SAYS SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT HOW THE WORLD NEEDS YOU AND YOU HAVE TO GET UP
AND WHEN YOU PRESS THE BUTTON TO HUSH HIM HE SAYS “DEFTLY DONE, MADAM,” OR “IF IT’S NOT TOO FORWARD OF ME, THAT DID TICKLE, MADAM”
IT WAKES YOU UP WITH THE SOUND OF CHIRPING BIRDS BEFORE STEPHEN FRY’S VOICE
EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE ONE
THIS IS LIKE JARVIS.
A REAL JARVIS EXCEPT HE’S A CLOCK.
Asked by Anonymous
Only “attempt to maintain a sense of the ridiculous.” I can’t and therefore don’t write smut, but I have seen astonishingly, hilariously awful examples of the sort of scene that results from a writer trying very hard to find new and exciting euphemisms for genitalia. Engorged flesh-glaives and moist passion-cenotes are all very well from the creative vocabulary standpoint, but it tends to make people giggle instead of going phwoar.
Oh, and if you’re writing sex scenes containing acts you have no personal experience of, please for the sake of little green apples read up on the physics before you write about it. There are resources all over the internet for how various forms of intercourse actually, like, work. Learn about lube.
Seriously. Have fun with the scenes, and write them with the understanding that sex is inherently messy, awkward, and ridiculous. For all I’m fond of good purple prose, for sex scenes straightforward almost always works better unless you’re willing to be lighthearted and silly in your purpleness.
And YES god do the research, including making sure the positions are actually possible. Pose yourself and think about where your limbs are. It’s awkward, if anyone walks in on you they are going to give you a funny look, but it’s the BEST way to figure out if the thing is going to work anything like you want it to.
Okay, this is actually what you do if you’re being sexually harassed in any kind of public space. Draw attention to it, preferably pull away and let EVERYONE know that someone is touching you. This will not only get him to get off you but he’ll definitely think about this situation next time he wants to do something like this.
Spreading the word.
My mom and I were talking about this today after hearing about a woman who was molested on a plane who said nothing until she was picked up at the airport by her parents. My mom looked at me and asked what I would do in that situation and I looked her dead in the eye and I told her “it would take me .02 seconds to realize what was going on and yell angrily, and then I would be straight on to bitch slapping him so hard he wouldn’t be able to see the punch I’d throw with the opposite hand”.
She nodded and accepted my salty language like a seasoned sailor.
I’ve had experience with this before, in Prague a group of five girls and I were followed by three men at night. After a while they started yelling at us, the most common being “how much?” Meaning how much we “cost” as prostitutes. Seeing as they weren’t going to stop, I turned on my heel, faced them (which surprised them), spat at their feet and responded with “You couldn’t afford me.” This prompted the other girls to start yelling back at them as well, starting with our spitfire Czech friend to start slinging curses in Czech as she and the rest of the girls came up beside me. Needless to say the men backed off and pretty much fled. They weren’t expecting a fight. It empowered me and encouraged the rest of the girls to yell back too.
I’ve heard that a lot of people don’t know what to do in this situation because they’ve been taught all their lives to be polite and non-aggressive. Keep your heads down or whatever.
Keep in mind that studies have shown that rapists look for victims who won’t fight back.
Remember that nobody has the right to touch you without your consent or harass you, and you have all the right to make the biggest fuss about it that you can possibly make.
Get angry. Be in command.
Literally the first thing I was taught about self-defense was not to be afraid of getting angry, of raising my voice. Women are taught so many things about what is socially acceptable, but the fact is that none of those rules apply I’m a situation like this. So fuck them. Yell, and make a huge scene. Because a lot of the time, that will be enough.
For anyone who’s been frustrated by/fascinated with public transportation planning, here’s Mini Metro.
Part of the game’s appeal is its minimalist design, meant to evoke an ever-evolving Subway/Metro map. The small, black symbols that pop up near the stations are passengers (the symbols indicate their destinations) and the passenger count in the lower-right represents the total number of passengers who have successfully reached their destinations. The game ends when a station becomes overcrowded (indicated by the wobbly passenger symbols).
The game’s developer released a free, early “alpha” version that’s playable through web browsers (it’s also downloadable for Windows, Mac OS X and Linux). They ultimately want to sell a more polished version of the game through the online store Steam, and are hoping players will vote for the game’s inclusion in the store through Steam’s Greenlight program.
They also plan to make it available for mobile devices, meaning you could play a game about overcrowded Metro stations while you are stuck at an overcrowded Metro station.
IT’S A SEX TOY GIVEAWAY TIME!!!!!!
Okay guys so here’s the deal, you’ve been putting up with all my ToyDirty posts for a while now and it’s time to celebrate.
Each week I’ll be giving away one of these best selling $121 dollar Lelo gigi vibrators along with another smaller prize of your choosing from the picture seen above. The last winner will also get the couple-friendly $132 dollar Lelo Alia as well.
If you don’t want to wait you can purchase these on my site ToyDirty right away and they are by far my favorite, most recommended products.
Each vibrator is made with body-safe silicone material, comes with a 1-year warranty, is fully rechargeable and has multiple adjustable stimulation settings.
And all you have to do is like or reblog this post as often as your little heart desires. You don’t even need to be following me and a winner will be chosen every Friday until April 11th with a random number generator.
You must be 18 or over to participate and this is in no way affiliated with tumblr.
GOOD LUCK ;)
*SCREAMS* BEST. GIVEAWAY. EVER.